Relatability vs. Authenticity: Ethical Considerations in Storytelling

Trying to make every story relatable to everyone is a dangerous game. Somewhere along the way, we end up crossing lines we never meant to.

I just finished a mystery novel about a young woman escaping her pimps and finding shelter with a mysterious old woman in a remote house. The story was simple, and the plot picked up quickly. Still, I couldn’t stop reading. The characters drew me in—their backgrounds, motivations, and choices. Nothing about their lives matched mine, and that’s exactly what made the story so powerful.

This experience made me think about what really draws us to stories. We've been creating and consuming narratives for millennia through books, films, plays, music, and even advertising. We love compelling plots that satisfy our curiosity with unexpected twists. We follow characters, whether real, fictional, or even products, wanting to see them succeed.

But I've come to believe there's something deeper at work. The stories that move us most are the ones that feel relatable. When narratives resonate with our experiences, emotions, and values, we engage more fully. This connection fosters empathy and understanding, making stories powerful tools for human connection.

The Limits of Relatability

That’s where it gets tricky. Chasing relatability for everyone is a slippery slope. I’ve watched plenty of stories with good intentions crumble into blandness, all because they tried too hard to please the crowd.

Take The Blind Side, Hidden Figures, or The Help. All those films meant to address racism, yet all three have faced significant criticism for their narrative choices. They flatten complex, painful histories into palatable films centering on white comfort. They focus on making the narrative palatable rather than depicting authentic Black experiences. The result? Stories about racism that somehow end up celebrating white saviors, or films addressing sexism that never examine the male-dominated structures sustaining it.

When writers aim for characters that everyone can see themselves in, they end up sanding off all the interesting edges. What’s left are empty shells of characters: safe, predictable, and nothing like real people. Ironically, these attempts to do good can end up doing the opposite.

Why Authenticity Matters

One recent character that comes to my mind is Rami Malek’s Charlie Heller from The Amateur. I've never experienced grief like his. I'm not a brilliant analyst. I've certainly never gone on a killing spree to avenge a loved one's death. Our lives couldn't be more different.

Yet I rooted for him desperately. His idiosyncrasies, his resourcefulness reached something in me. I've always felt like a fish out of water in life, and watching him navigate impossible situations with his particular brand of awkward brilliance resonated deeply. That's what authentic characterization can do. It transcends the superficial markers of "relatability" and connects on something more fundamental.

Authenticity in storytelling means presenting narratives that remain true to characters' experiences and the cultural contexts they inhabit. Authentic stories emerge from genuine understanding, enabling richer character development and more meaningful audience connections.

More importantly, authenticity builds trust. When storytellers honestly portray their characters' struggles and triumphs, audiences invest more deeply even when, especially when, those experiences differ from their own. People increasingly support stories that reflect real-life complexity rather than simplified versions designed for universal palatability.

The Ethical Tension

This conflict between being relatable and being real isn’t just a thought experiment for me. I’m wrestling with this feeling every time I sit down to write. The urge to reach everyone can end up washing out the voices that matter most, or worse, keeping old stereotypes alive.

Sometimes, this pressure leads to what people call 'performative authenticity.' It looks like real representation on the surface, but underneath, it’s hollow. You can feel when the story just goes through the motions, never really getting to the heart of things. And the people who crave honest stories? They see right through it.

But sometimes, storytellers get it right. Take This Is Us. It shows family life in all its messy, beautiful chaos, and somehow, it still feels like anyone could find a piece of themselves in it. The characters are complicated, their problems are real, and that’s what makes it work.

On the flip side, movies that lean on tired clichés or water everything down usually get called out for it. It’s a reminder: chasing mass appeal can backfire, especially when it comes at the cost of telling the truth.

Why This Matters to Me

I'll be honest: this isn't just theoretical for me. This goes to the heart of my writing approach, which centers on finding connection through authenticity.

I know I can't appeal to everyone. I've made peace with that, or I'm trying to. What I can do is be honest in my writing and hope to reach the right readers, the ones who will recognize something true in what I'm trying to say, even if our lives look nothing alike.

There's probably something deeper here, a fear of being misunderstood that's rooted pretty deeply in me. I've spent enough time feeling like people don't quite get what I mean, what I'm really trying to communicate. So when I write, I refuse to sand down the edges for palatability. I don't know if this approach will work, but I know deep in my bones it's the only way that feels right.

Because here's what I've learned: when we dilute our truth for the sake of being relatable, we often end up with something that connects with no one. But when we commit to authenticity, when we honor the specific and the particular, we create the possibility for genuine connection, even with people whose lives look nothing like ours.

So how do we navigate this balance? Storytellers should prioritize thorough research and genuine representation, engaging directly with members of the communities they depict. These conversations provide invaluable insights that enrich narratives while ensuring they remain both relatable and authentic.

We must also develop multidimensional characters that reflect real life's complexities. By rejecting stereotypes and embracing diversity, we can craft narratives that resonate deeply while honoring our characters' authentic experiences.

The goal isn't choosing between relatability and authenticity, but finding where they intersect. It's understanding that sometimes the most relatable thing we can offer is unflinching honesty, even when that honesty reveals experiences far from our readers' own lives. Because that woman fleeing her pimp, that old woman in her isolated cabin, that grief-stricken analyst on his impossible mission... they all teach us that authentic specificity creates its own kind of universality.

We just have to be brave enough to tell the truth.

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